New Story up at Literary Orphans

You always wonder how much people will read you into whatever you write. This story is titled, Father’s Day. I feel the need to write this note because my father is nothing like the father in the story. He did teach me how to play baseball, and he went to my games but he didn’t display any of the other behaviors in the story. He didn’t and doesn’t drink excessively. At least not around me.  We have been to Lookout Mountain. I highly recommend it unless you are afraid of Gnomes. But if you are afraid of Gnomes and want the ultimate place to face your fears, you can do it inside a cave and on a mountain top there.  I’m deflecting here. The bartender is a composite of several women that I didn’t actually know. I have known stale pretzels in bars. The pretzels are based on actual pretzels. Rereading the story, I wish I had added some detail about whether they were the kind of pretzels that make a knot or whether they were straight. It makes a difference. They were knots, and they did have salt. Still deflecting. What do I share with this character? I do like whiskey. I’m not above drinking it from coffee cups. I did play some third base in little league. But the rest of it? Nothing like me. And if you do sniff out a resemblance, pretend that you don’t. Writers depend on the friends that read their work to employ that  polite fiction. Otherwise, it would be madness to write at all.

Here’s the link:

Some Thoughts as the Year Comes to a Close…

Some thoughts as the year comes to a close….


To the owners of the closed sex shop on Sixth Avenue that I walk by everyday on the way to work: you may get more offers if you take down the “Sweet Sinsations” awning.


To the bear that used to reside in the Emerald Pub, good luck in your new music venue bar. Threadbare though you were, somehow, you seemed despair resistant.


To the margaritas of Cowgirl: I forgive you my trespass.


To the literary journals that have rejected my poetry over the last year: A simultaneous raspberry and a I guess you know what you are doing.


To the gumbo I’ll eat in Louisiana in a few weeks:  yum.


To my elbow: stop smarting.


To the pedestrian safety officers on Varick in front of the Holland tunnel: Your job sucks.  What matadors of the impossible!  I sincerely hope you all have good holidays.


To the protesters: get off the freaking bridges. People who work for a living have to get home.


To the everything bagel: keep on doing what you’re doing.


To the cart couple that make my bacon, egg and cheese on roll: I need a little warning before you go out of town and have a good holiday.


To Mike the Tiger: it could be worse. You could be on that Life of Pi boat.


To the future: I hope you don’t humiliate me too much.

Wisdom Tooth

Despite the desires of several dentists over the years, I have managed to keep three out of my four wisdom teeth. I know that terrible things will happen to me because of this (if you buy the white-coat’s propaganda).  I lost the one because it committed suicide. It decided to get a cavity. Probably because it was in such an awkwardly terrible place in my mouth that there was no hope of ever cleaning it. I kept it for a while. Now it has gone wherever the lost things go. Not actively kept or gotten rid of but not a thing that I can find by looking for it. Maybe it will turn up one day. In the meantime, here’s a poem. I wrote it sometime ago. I even gave a copy to this particular dentist. A nice guy who went with the gentle dental rhyme on all his promotional materials. Perhaps it is still in my file. You can read it on Vayavya:



What Can be Done in Two Lines and Why You Aren’t Elizabeth Bishop

Here are the first two lines of the Elizabeth Bishop poem, Filling Station:

Oh, but it is dirty!
—this little filling station,

Bishop is famous for her imagery. That is why this poem gets assigned, for the absolute thunderclap, once in a lifetime, “superbowl” level image coming near the end of the poem. But the first two lines are almost an anti-image. Why do these lines work?  Let’s acknowledge what isn’t there. The descriptions stop at the depth of “dirty’ and “little.” We get one weak verb of being. No unusual language, no strange but apt word choice.  What keeps these lines from flat-lining into prose?

Poems have personas or speakers and their speeches need a reason or a place to issue forth from. The importance of this element can be a large part of the poem as in a poem like My Last Duchess or it might just be a sense a gravitas working on some abstract problem of humanity. Here is the dramatic scene. Her car has arrived at a filling station.  The speaker is far enough from her home to be unfamiliar with the filling station. The speaker registers surprise at the dirtiness of the station. Which tells you that dirty locales must not be her usual environment.

This is a lot of information in just two lines that are not overtly trying to explain anything. But that isn’t all that is being conveyed here. The first line starts with the interjection, “Oh,” and ends with an exclamation point.  This line is trying to capture the sensation of coming upon this station and not quite understanding it. It feels like she is speaking to herself. Instead of unpacking already understood images, the speaker of this poem is trying to bring you with her as she discovers or sees this filling station. The technique used in fiction would be called stream of consciousness. The second line shows the persona regaining her composure. She is moving from surprise to understanding. Now that she has composed herself, she can describe what is there. There is still a bit of uncontrolled emotion in the line.  The use of the word “little” doesn’t do much to describe the station but does a lot to convey her affection for it. The rest of the poem will follow the pattern set in these two lines. The poet will alternate between description and surprise or maybe more accurately delight. This movement is the drama of the poem as we follow the speaker from this moment of surprise to an understanding of the place that is bigger than the place. All this is set up in two very quick lines that most people blow through looking for that famous Bishop imagery.

One other thing about these lines, they feel casual. And they should because Bishop is putting us as close to this speaker as she can. There is very little narrative distance. However, the casualness of these lines is an illusion. Bishop is in full control of the rhythm in these lines. We start with the interjection “Oh.” This long syllable takes a long time to say and because it is an interjection we go slowly through that emotion. Then we get a comma and the word, “but.” This further slows us down and the effect is to capture that feeling of time slowing after a surprise. The end of the first line is an exclamation mark and the second line begins with a dash.  This gives us longer to consider that surprise and adds a little suspense. From that dash on, the pace of the lines pick up. The second line falls into smooth flowing iambics. The line ends with an extra unstressed syllable that keeps the speed going. The sound in the second line reinforces that speed. The “i” sounds in “it,’ and “is” and “dirty” are repeated in the second line.  Poetic technique doesn’t get more invisible and effective than what you see in those lines.

Here are the lines that everybody remembers about the row of oil cans:

so that they softly say:

In two lines, she gives you an image that you can see and hear at the same time. Go off and do that if you can. Just kidding, that kind of thing is for giants only.

Here are some things to take away from the first two lines:

Don’t ignore the persona of the poem. That persona can be surprised. That persona can learn as it goes, can be uncertain or wrong or boorish or tyrannical. This is true even if that persona is you.

Don’t be afraid of small words. If you used the words, “dirty” or “little” in a poem at a workshop, you would likely receive quite a few comments to be more specific. Those words are fine to use if they serve the poem. In this case, we have a poem about a person slowly understanding a place.

(ps. Those workshoppers will be right 95% of the time, but do it anyway. The mistake free mindset of writing poems won’t generate any masterpieces.)

Casual speech is not flat speech. It should get most of its charge dramatically, but rhythm and sound are important even in the most casual seeming utterances. The more casual, the more invisible the machinery has to be.

Full text

Filling Station

Oh, but it is dirty!
—this little filling station,
oil-soaked, oil-permeated
to a disturbing, over-all
black translucency.
Be careful with that match!

Father wears a dirty,
oil-soaked monkey suit
that cuts him under the arms,
and several quick and saucy
and greasy sons assist him
(it’s a family filling station),
all quite thoroughly dirty.

Do they live in the station?
It has a cement porch
behind the pumps, and on it
a set of crushed and grease-
impregnated wickerwork;
on the wicker sofa
a dirty dog, quite comfy.

Some comic books provide
the only note of color—
of certain color. They lie
upon a big dim doily
draping a taboret
(part of the set), beside
a big hirsute begonia.

Why the extraneous plant?
Why the taboret?
Why, oh why, the doily?
(Embroidered in daisy stitch
with marguerites, I think,
and heavy with gray crochet.)

Somebody embroidered the doily.
Somebody waters the plant,
or oils it, maybe. Somebody
arranges the rows of cans
so that they softly say:
to high-strung automobiles.
Somebody loves us all.